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‘Ask Bubby’ -NEW COLUMN!

Dear Bubby,

I am 16 years old and I believe very mature for my age.  I was raised in a secular, very progressive/liberal home in North Tel Aviv and have been very proud of my parents and their tolerance of other ways of thinking and believing..  They are very open and showed this when my older brother converted to Lutheran and married his boyfriend of many years in a Swedish  Church, even paying for the wedding and flying members of the family that wanted to go (some members are prudish and old fashioned so they missed this event) to Malmo.

 They also bought the habit when my sister, Sarah,  became a Catholic nun and even laugh when they tell their friends that they don’t know whether to call Sarah, daughter or Sister.
However, I have to say that lately I have doubted their sincerity.  I, too, have fallen in love with someone of a different religion.  He is tall, dark and handsome and very good to me.  He has opened my eyes to a new and fulfilling way of life.
As Sarah studied and poured over books in learning about her new religion I too strain to understand my Egyptian boyfriend, Hosni’s, beliefs and though it is difficult for me I realize that with his greater intelligence and experience (he is 18) it must be true.
Here is my problem, although my parents were amenable to my siblings acquisitions of idols and pictures of their new beliefs, they not only refuse me the same privileges, objecting to the way I am making up and dressing they are  even demanding that I have no contact with Hosni any more.
Bubby, I am 16, and think it is quite permissible for me to wear a lot of kohl around my eyes and dress in long white topless gowns (to which I add loads of necklaces) to appease my parents.  After all I do not wear those clothes to school, but what’s wrong with going to to the mall?
I realize that our apartments here are tiny but since Sarah has moved out there is no reason for her bed to remain in the bedroom and if it is taken out there will be plenty of room for the mummy.  And as to the canopic jars with the liver, lungs, stomach and intestines, well, I have decorated them and they add a lot of color to the room and when they are tightly sealed there is barely an odor.
I am totally disappointed with my parents for not realizing that the murmuring and muttering I do to the mummy gods, is totally for their sake so they will have a safe trip to the Underworld when they go.
Do you think perhaps I was adopted and that is why they are treating me this way?
Sincerely yours, Miriam
Dear Miriam,
It is interesting that at the same time I received your letter I also received one from the parents of Michael, who is 17, and become an adherent of the goddess Astarte.  There seems to be nothing they can do.  They have taken away his Porsche, quashed his reservations for two weeks in Tenerife and even threatened to cancel his appointment with a shrink who promised for 10,000 shekels to write a letter claiming he was too fragile for army service.
I notice that you and Michael live in the same general area in North Tel Aviv so I would suggest to both sets of parents that they check the water supply there and stop giving you Kool Aid.
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