“Bernice.” My violin teacher said, stopping me while playing in the middle of my lesson. “You need to realize something. You are no longer a beginner or even an intermediate player. You are very advanced. Therefore, you need to learn to practice like an advanced player. The way you practice has always worked for you, and that’s good – but you are beyond that now. You need to start thinking and performing at your real level.”
As I left his apartment half an hour later and walked towards my car, I thought about what he had said and it struck me that it wasn’t only applicable to violin or instrument performance – it was applicable to all life. In fact, it reminded me of this story, which I’d like to share:
“As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.
He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”
The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.”
How often do we find ourselves in the same situation as these elephants? How often have we told ourselves that we can’t do something because “we’ve already tried it before and couldn’t do it then”? Perhaps this is something we all need to break free of, this measuring ourselves according to our past limitations. We all grow bit by bit each day, sometimes it’s hard to notice our own progress. So maybe it’s healthy to regularly retry things we believe we can’t do, whether it be a physical or spiritual thing.
However, it should be said that of course your progress will be better if you actually put work into your own growth. You will grow more if say, you exercise regularly, or if say, you train yourself to constantly look out for opportunities of kindness. But how do you know if the work you are putting into yourself is effective? Four words: No pain, no gain. If you are not being challenged by your physical or spiritual “work out,” then that means it’s time to up the level. If it no longer hurts, it means wherever you are is already part of your comfort zone, and it is time to push some more. If doing a certain mitzvah (commandment) is no longer a challenge, maybe you can explore more beautiful ways to perform it, or find a new mitzvah to commit to. Constantly make new challenging (but reasonable!) goals for yourself and always reach for the thing that is just slightly out of reach and pretty soon, you’ll find yourself in a much further place than you imagined you could be. The biggest danger is things becoming habitual, because that is when we become complacent. When things get too comfortable, perhaps that is one of the clearest signs that it’s time to change a little something in your routine, and nudge yourself just a little more forward towards more growth.
But you know, it’s undeniable: It’s tiring to keep pushing yourself. Sometimes you get tired. And sometimes you are just plain lazy to do whatever it is you need to do, whether it is praying or exercising or doing that act of kindness. I heard something nice in a Torah class before that I found really helpful: would anybody hold up a garbage truck? Would the yetzer hara (evil inclination) work so hard to discourage you from doing something if it wasn’t something that was really important and amazing? So perhaps those times when you don’t feel like doing something is the yetzer hara trying to stop you from accomplishing something beautiful. But here’s another thought: rest is also part of the growth process. If one works out intensely everyday at the gym, all they will accomplish is injuring themselves. Make sure to do something to grow a little each day, but vary your routine. Go easier on some days, harder on others. Find your own rhythm, whatever works for you. But don’t do the same thing over and over again for years and years to come. Make sure you constantly go through life at your “real level,” constantly making necessary adjustments to keep moving forward. And here’s one last thought: Don’t forget to pray. G-d is rooting for you, and will gladly help you along!
I found one more interesting application of what my violin teacher told me: In one week, it will be the holiday of Chanukah. It is the holiday that began with a military victory, when a small group of men decided they had had enough with Emperor Antiochus IV, his oppression of Jews and the Jewish faith, and his forcing paganism and Hellenism on them. Their small band started a revolt and somehow, their small group succeeded against the Empire’s army, and they were able to reclaim the Temple and rededicate it. Their small band succeeded in something seemingly impossible, because they tried. They were an elephant that finally decided to try to snap the rope that had been holding it.
As Chanukah approaches, may we all also find it in ourselves to have the courage to try to break free of whatever is oppressing us or holding us back, whether it be physically or spiritually, and find the determination to push ourselves always towards growth, growth, and more growth.
Originally posted Nov. 28th, 2015
