DEAR BUBBY: How Do I Get My Men to Put Down the Toilet Seat?!

Dear Bubby,

I am a professor of Thermodynamics at a top university and teach many students who have become quite famous in scientific circles.

My husband is an attorney and we have 5 sons all of whom have higher degrees in prestigious fields.

I am saying this to show how successful I have been in teaching and encouraging young people to do their best.

However, I have failed at one thing, something that when I was younger (I am 59) did not bother me quite as much, but plagues me now and makes me doubt the ability I gloried in, educating.  In my 35 years of marriage and 32 years of motherhood I have been unable to teach the men in my family to put down the toilet seat.

My husband can remember all the details in one of his cases, and the numbers of the laws that will help him win a case.  My oldest son, can recount the symptoms of hundreds of diseases and what medications for one to take.  My second son speaks and teaches 7 different languages.  My third son is aware of just how many nails, logs, tiles, etc. that he will need to build a house and my fourth son can regale you with the  names, dates and successes or failures of ancient kings in his lectures at his university.  Bubby, if they can remember all these complex things, why can’t they remember something so simple?

I have been taking diuretics and there is this problem with these new toilet seats that take forever to come down….as you know, when you gotta go, you gotta go.  And then at night when I awaken, I do not put on the light when I go to the facilities in our adjacent bathroom, so as not to wake my husband I do not put on the light.  How many times have I proceeded to sit on the facility and go down, down, down?

Is it too late for me to do anything about this?

Signed,

Hopping from one leg to the other

 

Dear ‘Hopping’,

You  are not the only woman with this problem so don’t doubt yourself.  I believe this is  genetic with men.   I, myself, was never able to solve it, always hoping that it was a something to do with my husband’s hearing, however since he now wears hearing aids he still does not seem to hear my admonitions.  With my sons I was sure it was teen age rebellion and that when they became older they would become wiser….they may have become wiser but apparently still do not have the energy to put that darn thing down.

I would suggest you go to a building supply store and buy some urinals.  Or, if you live near a mall, lock your bathroom doors and direct them to the restrooms there.

 

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